It’s not every day you read a book and get into another’s mind so vividly that you can feel their life. Deborah Jiang-Stein did just that in her recently published memoir, “Prison Baby.”
Recounting her journey from the age of 12, Jiang-Stein shares how sneaking into her mother’s bedroom drawer revealed a letter in which she learns she was born in prison to a heroin addict. Jiang-Stein’s self-proclaimed “emotional lockdown” starts decades of confusion, drug addiction, crime, violence, and dysfunction.
Jiang-Stein recounts her life growing up in Seattle with her adopted Jewish parents trying to find herself. She has a hard time understanding her multiracial makeup and her discomfort in her own skin; nor can she understand her rage and lack of impulse control. She struggles with her parents’ unspoken truth about her past and accepting her adopted mother’s love. Jiang-Stein finds that, as time moves forward, she moves backward.
Over the years, Jiang-Stein is unable to break free from the trauma and, while she wants to feel normal, she realizes there is nothing normal about her. She asks, “What’s normal for a 19-year-old like me who runs drugs for a living, blueprints burglaries and bank scams, and is the think tank for a small group of ex-felons?”
The story itself makes for a fascinating read but there was something unique about how candid and raw Jiang-Stein’s writing is as she shares her ultimate secrets. Never have I read a book that could transplant me in whatever scene I was reading.
I was the 12-year-old girl standing in front of that opened drawer with the letter in her hands. I felt the questions that would run through an adopted child’s head. I knew the uncertainty of that same little girl, not knowing who she was or where she came from. I felt the rebellion as it built up over the years.
I was the addict who was experiencing speedball, putting that needle in their arm for the first time. I knew the anxiety of a drug dealer when they are pulled over by the police in a car with concealed dope and a gun. I felt her hit rock bottom and, finally, her walk towards recovery.
Jiang-Stein teaches that, no matter where rock bottom is and with determination to overcome, anything can happen. She leads by example that the freedom she encountered with her recovery is a sweet thing.
Her words, “Nothing brings greater freedom than the discovery of how to live with the unliveable” proves that exact point. Everyone has things in their lives they cannot change, but acceptance can be freeing.
The larger theme of the story is about adoption, mothers in prison, heroin addiction, the human spirit, and personal transformation.
Jiang-Stein is the founder of the unPrison Project, a non-profit organization, where she is a prisoner advocate and mentor to women in jails and prisons. She’s using her life story to help the incarcerated women that are doing time in our nation’s jails and prisons.
This book is a must-read for everyone. Nothing beats a feel good story of redemption, recovery, reconciliation, and peace in this oh-so-crazy life.